Haiti Medical Service Trip | Day 4 and 5

Day 4 was our day at the bigger clinic space. We got a lot more room to set up our space and sections. This is how the sections work:

1) Check-in, where the patients start their form with their names, ages, and other basic information the form we have requires.

2) Vitals, the section split into two parts after Bita, Ryan, and I reworked the organization after the first clinic run on Day 3.

• Part 1: Heights, weights, and temperatures are recorded by us for the patients’ forms.
• Part 2: Blood pressure and heart rate are measured by us and we ask them about their symptoms. We then line them up for the physicians to see them.

3) We have five really awesome physicians to see the patients who are shadowed by us students at each of their stations.

4) De-Worming station, we give the patients that require it de-worming medication and something to eat with it.

5) Scabies station, where we scrub down individuals with scabies behind a carp from head to toe with treatment.

6) Pharmacy, where they get their medication and then head out.

Really bad, but only iPhone picture I have of us that day.

As students on this trip, we are given the opportunity to work and help out at any of these stations and switch out every day. On the second day of clinic (Day 4), I stuck to vitals because Bita wanted to try another station and Ryan and I wanted to make sure things ran smoothly and we ran the station last time. So, it was Ryan, Tran, and I at Part 2 for vitals again. Part 1 was Kristin and Christine. You would think I would get bored of taking blood pressure and heart rates, but I didn’t. I loved it. Taking blood pressure and heart rates AND asking and writing down symptoms for the physicians really made me feel like I was doing clinic work and made me incredibly happy. Before I knew it, it was 4 p.m and we were done (the clinic started around 10 a.m and we always wake up around 7:30 a.m for breakfast at 8). Just like that, the hectic speed of the clinic was over.

After we finished packing up the clinic and had our bus ride back to the clinic, we had really good mac and cheese for dinner. I sat under the gazebo with a few people and we watched the orphanage kids play soccer. The weather was cooling down and it was a nice way to wind down. Later, Bita and I went to sit under The Mango Tree while the sun was setting and it was getting dark and we talked about our lives a bit.

I still have this fear of not really being connected with this group once we get back to the U.S but I don’t with Bita. I retain my confidence that we’ll be really good friends. She’s the one on this trip that I really feel like I bonded with the most.

After about an hour of talking, we made our way back to the others and helped out with making sandwiches for the next day and after chilling with a few people for a bit, I went to sleep around midnight because I was so drained. But, the best kind of drained I have ever felt.

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Day 5 was a great day. Bienvenu, Dr. Jones’ husband that also came and helped coordinate the trip, has been taking people out in small groups in his car before the bus takes everyone to give them a chance to step outside the orphanage and see a bit of Port-au-Prince. I was picked to go yesterday morning but plans got complicated and I just ended up not going. So, he took me out this morning with Alfred, Ryan, and Bryan. I woke up at 6:30, an hour earlier than normal wake-up time, to go with them. I had my Haitian coffee to wake myself up and headed out earlier than the others with them.

Port-au-Prince is a lot like India, but I would say a little bit more poverty stricken. It wasn’t too much of a culture shock for me. We went and got some supplies and headed to the clinic before everyone and got set up and soon after, the others arrived in the bus. Ryan and I decided to stay in vitals again today because Ryan didn’t want me to abandon him and I didn’t want to leave that badly either. So I stayed and took more patients’ blood pressure and heart rates. I have perfected my skills at getting people BPs and heart rates at this point. I can find a pulse pretty quick and I can use the manual BP kits with a stethoscope when the semi-electronic ones break down. I know how to place the patient’s hand in the correct position. After about doing this for about a 100 patients, you get it down. Today was the first day I felt sort of bored at my station though. Only because, I was at vitals for a third day in a row. Ryan and I talked and we decided to shadow physicians tomorrow. I’m going to shadow Dr. Chica, Pietro’s father, who is a surgeon and am really excited.

Today at the clinic, there was a baby that was premature and highly malnourished. She was so very tiny and I got to hold her. My heart swells every time I think about it, with a few emotions being love, empathy, worry, sadness, and hope. I’ll spare all the medical details for now and we helped her as best as possible, but I just found myself wishing we could have done more. The stuff we do here is for immediate relief up to a few weeks, but nothing sustainable and it makes me sad. But, I understand that we’re doing everything that we can do with the supplies that we have.

On the way back, I fell asleep on the bus ride for about 15 minutes which I have realized is the perfect nap time. Anything over makes you drowsier and 10-20 minutes is just enough to keep me alert again. We ate my favorite dinner thus far after we got back – chicken alfredo.

I sat with both Sarahs and Bita for a bit afterwards and we talked for a bit about Sarah (Dyer)’s amazing life and it started to rain. We decided this was the perfect chance, while we are still in gross scrubs and have not showered yet, to go out and just get wet in the downpour. By the time we actually got into the rain, it had died down and then soon after, just stopped. But Carra and Kristin came and we played some really bad soccer together before I went and showered.

When I came back out, the guys had come up and a lot of people were just chilling in this common area outside the girls’ rooms. I looked at pictures with Ryan for a while before being a part of this amazing conversation with Justin leading with Dennis and a few others next to me. Eventually, a vast majority of the group was a part of this conversation.

THIS conversation was one of the biggest highlights I experienced on this trip. We talked about our deep revelations from this trip. The questions we all talked about together were:

1. What did you take from Haiti while you were here?
2. Something positive from Haiti that you noticed? (Because the conversation got a little dark after we discussed healthcare in Haiti and all over the world)
3. What at home gives you the drive to do what you love?

Everyone went around and answered these questions and it was a real group heart-to-heart. It was absolutely epic. The christmas lights around us were the only things lighting the space, the breeze was cool, and we were all sitting in circle just listening to what each person had to say. Everyone said things that really made me think and feel warm inside. A few of the things that really touched me were:

• Pietro talking about how he sees something here that he doesn’t understand yet. These people here are so happy with their lives and just live them and he doesn’t understand what they already do understand. He doesn’t feel it himself while he sees it in everyone here. One day, he wants to understand and experience what these people understand and experience.
• Miriam said that the reason why people in America are so unhappy while they have everything and Haitians are more happier with so much less is because of the mentality that is bred in the U.S. Most people back home think inward and doesn’t look outward. That why they find themselves empty and the suicide rates are so much higher.
• Sarah (Dyer) said that when she landed in Haiti, the people on the plane started clapping because of how happy they were to back in their country. It was literally their everything.
• Manvitha said that she went about her life in such a mechanical way and seeing all of us doing what we are doing for the reasons we are doing them, it reminds her why wants what she wants, why she is doing what she is doing.
• Aum talked a little bit about India being more negative than Haiti is, and I agreed with it. While they are in similar conditions, the Haitians are much more positive about their lives.

There was just so much more and I can’t remember everything as I type this out late at night before I fall asleep. The conversation was just something else and one that I’ll never forget. I got a chocolate bar after to deal with the whole emotional ordeal.

Bita, Karina, Manvitha, and I talked a little bit about clinic drama before we all headed to bed around 1 a.m and now it’s 2:30 a.m. Cannot wait to see what tomorrow will hold.

Haiti Medical Service Trip | Day 2 and 3

Posting this so late because of wi-fi issues. Today’s might come tomorrow with a Day 3 & 4 together post as well because of reasons I’ll explain tomorrow. 

Day 2 wasn’t very eventful. We took the day off to relax and explore the orphanage. In fact, we had so much down time that I accidentally fell asleep for a short nap while waiting for pictures to copy from the SD card to my laptop. We took this time to visit the children at the orphanage and play with them.

The children here are precious. They pick one person and become so attached that they bar any escape. The boy that I picked up and spent time with would not let me go anywhere, even to get footage. He brought me my bag that I left somewhere else, which was incredibly sweet. Normally, children aren’t my jam, but I didn’t want to leave these kids. I don’t know whether it’s the fact they are growing up in an orphanage or not, but the attachment they place on you is so strong and quick. I felt it in my chest when one of them raised their hands to be picked up.

I went to revisit them later in the day.

We met our Haitian counterparts on Day 2 as well. The translators and university students training to be nurses were split into groups and paired with us all. My group was Bita, Kristin, and I along with Fefe, a translator, and Danetchy, a nurse student, from Port-au-Prince. Fefe told us about his dream of one day being a judge that “will bring Justice to everybody”. The way he said those words had so much passion.

Passion is something I’ve been finding in abundance at Haiti, from the children playing soccer everyday on the field to the people I came with learning everything they can about medicine. I got to spend more time with the group on Day 2 and it was great. I didn’t really interact with these individuals in the Haiti Healthcare class but now; I think the makings of really good friendships are at work. Albeit, the pessimist in me also believes that they’ll all mean nothing once we leave Haiti. I hope the pessimist in me is wrong though.

Bita, Elise, Christine, Sarah, Manvitha, and I stayed up till midnight talking about Pakistani and Indian weddings oddly. We then moved onto the topic of boys of course, including the ones on our trip. That was interesting to discuss amongst us and then we retreated to bed after Dr. Jones told us to sleep a third time in her usual nice way. Dr. Jones is the nicest.

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Day 3 was when business went up. I got up at 7:30 a.m, in time to try some exquisite Haitian coffee, a drink that really does live up to its hype. After having some interesting conversations over oatmeal, I realized I liked interesting conversations. Which is a given, but it made me reevaluate what I thought of as an interesting conversation. While there were silly, immature, and hilarious topics thrown in, a majority of the conversations I’ve held here with groups of people are quite intellectual. It probably has something to do with being one of the youngest people on the trip, but I felt like I didn’t hold many conversations in a row about topics such as Sea World’s documentary, the psychology behind a serial killer, the science behind caffeine pills, and music. And this was all just breakfast conversation.

After breakfast, we had the chance to attend the Sunday church service. I took the opportunity to go and I am every so glad I did. I am agnostic, therefore not very religious at all. But, I wanted to attend for the experience. When am I ever going to get the opportunity to stand in on a Haitian protestant service at an orphanage? Rarely. The service was so musical that it blew me away. I observed and felt that passion I wrote about earlier under the roof of the church this morning. People were singing with the pastor as loudly as they could, moving side to side in the mass of people, and praying to something that unites the all at one foundation. I was completely taken by the experience.

We had a team meeting under the Mango Tree of the orphanage after church. Ryan, Bita, Tran, and I volunteered for running the vitals station, where we check temperatures, weigh patients, and take blood pressure, heart rate, and respirations, as well as record patient status and family history, all with the need of a translator. We had no idea what we signed up for till we hit the clinic.

We loaded the boxes we packed during our down time in Day 2 onto the bus and headed off Ondeville, which I believe is the spelling but am not 100% sure. It was this extremely rural town in the mountains of Haiti. The drive over there made me think about all the other towns like this that existed and aren’t getting even the little amount of short term help we can offer. And then I thought about how big our world was and how much of it was in places of poverty like this.

Once we arrived, Ryan, Bita, Tran and I set ourselves up to fail. The tasks we were responsible for did not end up smoothly or in a timely manner. There was too much hold up that wasn’t expected and the process was altered as best possible in the last minute situation. We made the best out of the situation though. But wow, what a high it is to be a healthcare provider.

The small space we had to set up.

More of the area we were in.

Me, Bita, and Tran (from left to right).

While I know I am far from becoming a certified healthcare provider of any sort, this small bit of, I guess you could call it ‘intense on-field role playing’, gave me such a rush. We were at the clinic for about 3-4 hours and while I felt the fatigue, I loved every minute of it. I learned as I went through each hour, the following hour feeling shorter than the one before. Before I knew, it was time to go for the day.

I enjoy waking up early and having the whole day to make an impact on the world around you before falling back asleep again.

I wanted this trip to help me decide for certain to pursue being a doctor or not, and so far it has reaffirmed it immensely. I loved what I was doing. And soon enough, I realized the passion of everyone around me was seriously rubbing off of me too. My passion laid in one day being the physicians on this trip and tells the college kids that come on the mission trip, “I was once a pre-med student just like all of you.”

On the bus ride back, Elise, Bita, Sarah (different Sarah), and I had an interesting conversation about love lives, which for some reason has been a popular topic of the day, mostly due to Karina interrogating us all about ours. But, it wasn’t the typical conversation about ex’s. It circled back to something more intellectual, like the breakfast conversations, and involved sexualities and etcetera. Sarah, on an unrelated note to sexualities but related to another topic we talked about, said “service trips help us learn as individuals more than create any sort of sustainable solutions whatsoever wherever we are. And that’s great”. And, it was great. I felt great.

We had dinner once we got back and then the Vitals team regrouped to discuss the game plan for tomorrow. Things needed to change now that we knew how to approach this much better. After that was sorted, Bita and I came upstairs to our rooms and a couple of us sat in the sitting area in front of the girls’ rooms. Bryan brought his guitar and we started a soft jam session because it was past 10:30 p.m, the lights out time at the orphanage. It was so relaxing, and the breeze was at a nice pace, and everything in that moment seemed pretty perfect.

Sarah (back to original Sarah) asked to borrow my laptop and I said, “Sure, when do you need it?” She said later in the week, Tuesday or something. In that moment, it hit me that I still had almost a week left here. A week of gaining more practice with helping doctors, getting vitals, running around a pharmacy, and interacting with the wonderful people of Haiti.

I still have almost a week of serving left and I feel warm inside, bubbling with eagerness I have never experienced before.

Haiti Medical Service Trip | Day 1

It’s almost 9 p.m (really 8 p.m for my regular time zone) and I am absolutely exhausted. I don’t think I’ve been this worn out in years. Initially, I decided on no social media and communication with friends for eight days. I’m sticking to that, but I found myself struck with my rare desire to write down what I felt and experienced today. Which is what brings me back to this blog to sort through my feelings for the next 8 days.

I slipped in and out of sleep for 20 minutes before pulling myself up and leaving for the airport at 2:30 a.m this Friday morning. After arriving and immersing myself in the crowd of red “Hope In Haiti” t-shirts, I checked in and pulled out my camera to begin getting the first few shots of the trip. Suitcase wheels, backs of t-shirts, stressed last minute packing, and the beginning of an eight day journey.

Flight itinerary from Houston, Texas to Port-au-Prince, Haiti:

Slept on and off on both short planes and arrived in Haiti around noon. The best way I could describe stepping out of the airport comes into parallel with stepping out of an airport in India. It was hot and crowded and loud. We lugged our bags full of medicine, scrubs, and clothes to a school bus that took us to New Life Children’s Home, our local residence for the trip.

My cute bed for the stay.

Gazebo.

Entrance, towards the cafeteria.

Stone road in the orphanage.

Our home for the trip.

Room #7.

Sit out area in front of our rooms.

Footage from my DSLR isn’t going to be dealt with until the end of the trip and I’m putting it together.

After unpacking and sorting through meds, I sat in the gazebo with a few of the students and watched a few of the boys at the orphanage play soccer with a few of the boys in our group. Theodore, Dr. Jones’ husband and one of the coordinators for the trip, grew up in the orphanage himself and built his way. This place was his home while growing up and becoming who he is today and you could really see the respect the boys had in their eyes when they talked to him.

There was something about sitting with these people I barely knew 12 hours earlier and teasing them like we were friends for much longer, watching the boys from the orphanage and our boys play a game that was so universal they didn’t need the same language to communicate, and all of us sitting in this inescapable heat that made me feel like I found the beginning of what I’m seeking from this trip – the basic global connection present amidst humans.

While the above paragraph could be perceived as extremely cheesy and dramatic, I genuinely felt it today. I attended the class of 2015 commencement at my university and the guest speaker, Matthew McConaughey, said he needed “to check out in order to check in with himself”. I find myself living these exact words right now. These 8 days are going to be straining but, I feel like they’ll come with their rewards.

After finishing a well in-need dinner and getting some more footage, we attended a meeting to discuss the rest of the night and what needed to be done the next day.

Picture courtesy of Dennis “Denny’s” Kunichoff.

I took a nap that lasted a little bit longer than expected and got up around 8 p.m to help sort through the remaining meds. Bita, Karina, and I had some basic girl talk about guys for some time in the middle of me writing this and now I’m finishing up. It’s now almost 10:30 p.m and am still exhausted. I’m finally going to get some proper shut-eye after nearly 20 hours of work before getting up early tomorrow for Day 2.

Alone.

I have always felt alone at the end of the day when I lay down in bed. Even if that day I went bowling with my friends. Even if that day I sat down with my family and watched a movie. Even if that day I met interesting new people and we really hit it off. At the end of the day, I am alone.

During senior year (the latter half, an important distinction), that feeling was temporarily alleviated. For once in my life, I felt like I had a handful of people around me that genuinely cared for me. I didn’t go to bed feeling alone every night. I slept knowing there were other people I would wake up to and would be there for me when I needed them. It was like a weight was lifted that I didn’t even know was present until it lessened.

But now, I’m three states away from these people and the weight has come back. It’s one thing to have lived with it my whole life and another to have it come crashing back down after temporary solace. It feels heavier.

The reason I loathe that feeling so much is because of my sentiments toward myself. I am not happy with who I am. But recently, I figured I should change that. Once I’m happy with me, I’m confident the weight will not be the burden it is now.

My Formulated Steps that Indirectly Lead to Being Happy with Myself:

1. Tone down the procrastination. By doing so, I be more productive. By being more productive, I get more stuff done. Stuff including studying, homework, planning, and Bonner Leaders work. All of this leading to me being more successful in what I do. And finally, all accumulating to a happier me.
2. Eat healthy & workout. Physical fitness is often just as important as mental state in my opinion. I think if I start eating right and working out more, I’ll be more focused and determined to get what I want. Having my body in better shape would also undoubtedly make me further satisfied. This means no more snacks after midnight.
3. Read more. I want to read like I used to but alas, cannot due to the Honors college + 17/18 credit hours + Engineering + Bonner Leaders work. So instead, I want to just read more than what I am right now, which is zero. I am sure I was happier when I read more and I could really use an escape from reality once in a while (mostly because I can’t actually full-time escape reality no matter how much I want to).
4. Further my other interests. Photography and writing were things I really gained interest in. I think it’s time I go back to them and make time to improve my skills in both. I believe honing these abilities will boost my confidence, hence my happiness.
5. Keep in better contact with my old friends. There is a reason I have them and I don’t want to lose sight of that. Each one of my best friends before college are important to me and I don’t want to lose any of them. I need to realize I can always call them to lift the weight, no matter how minute the lifting is. Being better connected to the important people in my life will undoubtedly lift my mood. Although, this won’t be easy considering I have never been as busy as I am these days. But, I am beyond determined.

So, 1, 2, 3, go.

Leaving.

I guess the fact that I am leaving for college hasn’t hit me until today. I am making plans today on when to see people last before I leave Monday and the idea of seeing everyone one last time is really hitting home.

Even though I’ve only been here two years, I made friends that I will carry with me for my entire life. I know everyone says that high school friends don’t last as long as college friends, but, you know what? I’m going to make my own rules.

I am a really emotional person but I don’t do much crying (well, there are exceptions of course). But, just thinking about all of this, I can feel my eyes getting watery. I had to say goodbye to Bangalore and now I have to say goodbye to another city where I have made friends that are equivalent to family.

I often feel like it’s not fair. Why am I burdened with so many goodbyes? I understand the reasons behind each one, but as of right now, I just feel like it’s not fair.

The future scares me. Not only the realm of my career and academics, but now I’m also in fear of where my relationships with these people will stand in a few years time.

I cannot believe I’m old enough to have finished high school and be heading to college. When did time just pass me by like this? I never agreed with the phrase, “Life is short,” because our lives are the longest things we know to experience. But, right now, I can feel myself relate to that phrase greatly.

I’m excited to begin a new adventure, I always am. But, saying goodbye to the one that has just ended always weighs down that excitement.

“It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” – John Green, Paper Towns

 

 

Monotony.

I’m visiting Georgia this summer for a few weeks, the place where I experienced most of my childhood. When I left Georgia years ago, I left my childhood as well and started the whirlwind that is growing up. Relocating gives you a different perspective on yourself and those surrounding you so I can safely say that it has played a huge role in how I grew up.

The experiences I have undergone in the places I’ve lived, the people I have interacted with all over, and the lessons I have learnt while making mistakes, all constitute towards who I am presently. And with additions on these three fronts every day, ‘who I am’ changes with time. Of course, this stands true for most people.

While this isn’t what I mainly want to write about, it will relate back later to what I do want to write about – monotony.

I was heading back to my uncle’s place in Alpharetta (from my friend’s house in Marietta) and my uncle and I were talking about our lives. He said to me, “These days, I just don’t want to get up in the morning. I don’t find any anticipation in me for the same, boring, routine life I awake to every day.” It made me reflect about that small period of monotony I had faced earlier in the week.

I had an internship for two weeks. Basically, I went to a doctor’s office and made phone calls and sorted through patient files. I woke up at 7:30 a.m every morning and got home around 4:30 every evening. After I came home, I did pretty much nothing of importance and then eventually slept in order to repeat the process again the very next day. I felt weird after a few days of this. The only comfort I got was knowing it was only temporary. At least in high school, I had friends I met and did something a little different every day. I didn’t find a monotony in that as I had found while going to this internship. Thinking over that weird feeling I got led me to realize something.

Monotony feels suffocating for me.

The thought of having to live my entire life in a similar state to what I faced these few weeks at the internship horrifies me. It scares me enough to desperately push harder to get away from it. The only logical ways out of that horrendous cycle I see are:

1. To make a career out of something I love to be doing every day.
2. To have a life separate from the career I love.
3. To love coming home to whomever and whatever awaits me there.

To achieve #1 on that list, I have to push myself. I have to get good grades, make it into medical school, and be successful as a doctor. My reasons for becoming a doctor could take up another blog post entirely (one of which I might eventually make), but in order to love my career, I have to be able to attain it. Numbers #2 and #3 also require another blog post of their own to write about (one of which I might also eventually make).

Now, circling back to the beginning of this post and how it relates to monotony, who I am now wants to be a psychiatrist. I cannot promise that is what I will always want to become but as of now, it remains my goal. Who I am now is willing to give my all into the next four years of my life to secure a future revolving around #1, #2, and #3 on that list. I owe every single place I have moved to for shaping me into present day me.

It’s a common dream of people to make a career out of what they love. Just recently, I have been urged to obtain that dream with more rigor than previously. I used to think I would always have the fall back of getting a secure job with my engineering degree if I didn’t get into medical school but recent events have changed that. That job wouldn’t be ‘secure’ to me at all seeing as it would make me miserable. Security doesn’t entail misery.

Basically the point of this incoherent rambling is to state that I will, without a doubt, put in my all to avoid a suffocating life of monotony that comes along with a job I do not love.

 

Making A Decision.

Why do they entrust seventeen/eighteen year olds to make a decision that will decide their future for the next four years of their lives?

I look back on myself four years ago and cringe at who I was. Who is to say I will not do that again in four years? With that being the case, how can I possibly trust myself now to make a decision that I will be content with four years down the road?

I know where I am going to be for college. I just find myself facing the inability to admit it in the form of un-wavering words. Because, once you say something, it is forever etched into time. It becomes real.

In a fit of nostalgia the other day, one of many I find myself drowning in recently, I recalled my dreams as a freshmen in high school.

“I will go to an Ivy League college and make my parents so proud.”

Sigh. I know I’m not alone in the notion of altered dreams. But, the latter of making my parents proud remains intact. An Ivy League is out of reach for now, but the only thing that keeps me going is the possibility that I can still make my parents proud one day.

I understand that the location of your undergraduate years do not matter as much as the competitive environment surrounding me hypes it up to be. But, it’s not really about that is it? It is about how much I have changed in the past four years, more than just my dreams of an Ivy League. How can I make a choice that I can so easily end up regretting?

I am not ready to move forward but, somehow, crave it more than anything.

I am resisting making a decision that has, technically, already been made.

I am in denial of moving away, again.

I don’t know what path to take to achieve what I seek to do with myself in this world.

And above anything, I am petrified by the concept of growing up.

Suffice to say, sighs have infiltrated my regular routine.

 

Starting Over.

You know how you look back on your past self and cringe sometimes? Well this entire blog was me cringing at this point in time. So, starting fresh again. 

Hi, I’m Naina.

I think reading, writing, photography, and watching TV shows are enjoyable ways to procrastinate my school work and life. I’ve lived on 3 different continents and have attended 7 different schools from pre-k to high school. I like all the funny things.

Leave comments if you please. As for other places to contact me, I’d really rather you not.